March 29, 2013

kutty dreams

How often have you wanted the madness to last forever? To forever be crazy and silly. Sadly, it doesn't last forever. Sooner or later, you have to grow up. For some, it is responsibility and a job. For some, marriage. And then, for some, it is having a child.

Yes, being a parent changes it all. So i've heard. And in the last month and a half, i've learnt quite some things too.

When i think of it, i realize i must give up my madness and my fantasies. Must bequeath it to him. It's his turn now. To ride the wind. Dream up stories that range from cheesy to soulful. Chase butterflies in green meadows. Explore dark woody trails.

I have to change roles, become the responsible mom. There are a hundred voices waiting to tell me i'm doing it all wrong. Of course.

I could turn out to be the worst parent ever, but i don't want to be all this. I'd rather ride the wave with him. Rather do all the things i've always hesitated to. I mean, i'm still gonna be the worrywart mom, but i want to be part of his stories, his laughter.

Being a parent really is making the decision to let your heart go walking out of your body..

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  1. Parenting for me is like bungy jumping... You take a deep breath and then dive into the unknown.. It is a heart-stopping dive till the elastic cord snaps and stops your fall and then pulls you back.. Let the elastic cord be your dreams and aspirations, your silliness and your craziness, your attitude and your beliefs. Let all these keep you grounded and let your child build up on these till one day he has his own elastic cord built upon his own dreams and aspirations but at the core there will always be a bit of your dreams too. It is like the wand in Harry Potter. A wand that selects its master but has a bit of a unicorn and a bit of a Phoenix in it. Now I am rambling I think

  2. what an analogy! a wand you say... I'm just very very scared. Glad you sense the fright, and the madness which i guess, will remain a part of me. I bet he'll be book crazy, movie crazy, talkative and filmy. Like his mom. wait, no, his dad. :)