fogged windows

there was an age when
i would have closed my eyes
and trusted you, when you said,
to the moon and back.
when the smell of grass
and borrowed books, and
fresh paint and dreams
brought my songs alive.

i've traded sunburnt smiles
for unspoken words
and now, there are cold
October nights
without nightingales.

i, with my forest trails
and dark misty woods
now find in half moon smiles
and unshed tears,
broken poetry.
there's no trace of me
i've stopped waiting,
waiting for yesterdays.

and just when i'm sure
i want this day and no more,
you give me moments..

moments
with lilies outside fogged windows,
the warm glow of old love
you dance me around the room
your eyes talking of spring

there's the sound of water over pebbles
there are tree trunks by the shore
and as my feet sink in
miles of glorious black sand
there is laughter, all mine.

and in your eyes again
i know pain and quiet loss
and whispers, and dark moods
and there's this tightness in my chest
as you hold me close to yours
i'm learning to cry again.

Fates

You know what depression does to you? It sucks laughter out of your soul. It hurts and you can do nothing about the pain. It's like a gaping hole in your head. Where thoughts are incoherent, and your feelings all muddled up. All your thoughts spell death, and still you stand there unable to do anything about it. It's like being buried alive, terror mingling with darkness. And then once you escape it, all you know is numbness. You've seen it all, you say.

Well, ironically, it isn't the worst of fates.

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Astray

Your thoughts, they jump,
from branch to branch
Like wayward monkeys
And i am left grumbling,
Weary and stumbling
As i run after them.

I try to entice them
Bring them my way
But they escape me
Tease me all day
I have half a mind
To throw a tantrum
Until i realize
You're grinning at me
And then i jump up
And follow them thoughts
For i need to get to them
Before you do to me.

It's part of the game, i learn
And i keep my eyes open lest
You steal my dreams,
From my open eyes
And yet, I don't put up
much of a fight
It's like i want
to be led astray.

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